Tom Bill
First, after writing this, I think that I may have strayed from the original topic, but it is definitely related. As a point of reference, I’m in the same boat as Happywife’s husband and she couldn’t have described me better (except that my wife hasn’t been with another man yet). I’m new to the site / lifestyle concept and am so far curious and fascinated. I don’t care what you call it…I’m interested. I guess that my real questions center around the fact that I have read a lot (both here and at other sites) and I seem to get conflicting information. Yes, even within this site. Maybe it’s my interpretation or perception that is conflicted, but here goes.
1) Above, Luvr said that there are two ways to share…that makes sense. But then, by that definition, the relationship described in paragraph one of Mengtzu’s post above would be not overtly submissive and therefore still a cuck. However, after reading Mengtzu’s post a couple of times, it seems to me as if they share the leadership jointly as a couple (even though there is teasing / mild humiliation and joking about the term cuck). Granted, there is far too little info to make that statement, but why can’t a couple share the leadership role also? This I don’t really understand. Sure, I see why the naturally more dominant would take the leadership role more often, but why couldn’t / wouldn’t someone want to take the backseat for a change of pace? 
This is fairly common in traditional sexual relationships…right? So, why not in cuckolding?
2) I agree that the cuckold concept is not presented as pejorative at this site, per se. However, posts like “penis vs. cock”, “sissy theory” and the whole chastity theme seem to take the humiliation aspect so far as to become degrading and therefore project a pejorative image. Look, I’m not judging here; I’m just trying to understand. To each their own and if someone likes chastity, panties, public humiliation, etc. good for them that they have found what rocks their world. For me personally, I just cannot imagine ever getting turned on by that…angry maybe, but not turned on. My question is, at what point does the humiliation turn into degradation or abuse? Because, at some point, it must…right, wrong or a matter of personal perspective?
In the end, maybe the whole idea of whether the treatment here of the term cuck or the posts about its different aspects / descriptions is pejorative or degrading is nothing more than a matter of personal perspective. Maybe it simply depends on the intent of the person making the statements and the attitude of the person(s) receiving the comments. For instance, I could find it very exciting to see my wife receiving pleasure from another man, but I’m pretty sure that if the bull / dom tried to deny me long term sexual access to my wife, impose chastity devices, make me wear panties…well you get the idea…there would be a problem pretty quickly. Why? Because, to me, it would feel degrading (beyond humiliating), but I know that there are others who would find being on the receiving end of that treatment very exciting for a variety of reasons.
Please help me understand the difference between the site’s acceptance of some “extreme” forms of cuckolding / humiliation (esp. verbal humiliation by the bull and wife of her husband) and a pejorative attitude toward the cuck or refer me to posts where this has already been explained. Again, I’m not judging, but it’s difficult for me to understand how these more intense forms of cuckolding could not be perceived as pejorative when practiced or condoned by a bull or a dom who engages in same. Without citing specifics, I have seen other examples in the forum that have really given me pause. One more time…not judging.