Others figuring it out

Your reaction seems healthy, normal… I think the ones who tell everyone make it hard on themselves as well.

It happens very often and specially when your wife have a long time lover, friends and people see clues and figure it out, things like her lover is always at any reunion of party, birthdays, New Years etc, the way they interact and look at each other, etc. your wife close friends talk to her about her lover and eventually they will know, my wife don’t tell but she won’t hide either, last new years party they dissapear for more than an hour, they were upstairs, I think must people noticed. I’m use to it and they think I’m nice.

My wife’s friends (ladies) knows she has permission to flirt and even more when she’s out with them. I was not clear in the beginning, but they started asking questions, and one night one even saw my wife disappeared to the restrooms at a club with a guy to give him a blowjob. The friend is also knowing me, so we decided the next day my wife better tell her it was “with permission” so she didn’t felt she was witnessing my wife cheating that night.

The other ladies has taken it real cool, in fact I think they envy my wife a little. I’m not sure – but I suppose – they have told their husbands too, but none of them has ever mentioned a word to me.

I think it depends a lot on how your friends are and how morally open they are. And another thing is what they promise to keep for themselves when they are sober, what happens when the night comes and they get drunk and “has a fun story to tell”?

My recommendation is to keep it secret when possible, and only tell if and what is needed

We keep it secret from everyone but there is an understanding that if she is out with another man and is seen by a friend/relative, I have her back 100%. She will not have to worry about taking the “shame” or “blame” because I would intervene and say it’s cool with me and I’m into it. I’m too old now to worry about what other people think about me anyway.