Re: Cuckolds describe your feelings?

My answer to “I was wondering if any of you that are cuckolds could share some of your feelings while you’re experiencing being cuckolded? “

The description given by Yorks Cpl closely mirrors my own feelings when my wife is with another man. We have been married for more than 30 years, and my started cuckolding me with my encouragement, while we were still engaged. Throughout our marriage, my wife gave herself to dozens of men, almost always playing alone, and away from home. I would anxiously await her return, where I would receive all the details of her naughty encounter, accompanied by a slow hand job. My first reaction when I knew that an extramarital tryst was happening, imminent, or even probable, was usually a physiological reaction caused by a large surge of adrenaline pumping through my veins. I would feel shaky, and hot. My face would be flushed, and my mouth dry, hands trembling. At the same time it would feel like I was consumed by lust, this was a weird cocktail, the adrenaline and lust, a physical reaction that I would get only when I thought another man might be taking my wife. This may, or may not be accompanied by an erection. I remember at times thinking how odd it was not having an erection during during some especially erotic situations. For example, one time I could clearly hear my wife moaning in lust from behind a closed door, as she was soundly being fucked by a coworker. I was unbelievably aroused yet amazed that my penis didn’t seem to be reacting at all. Although after I heard them “finish”, it only took very slight manipulation to produce an orgasm and ejaculation from my flaccid penis. When I am in that adrenaline/lust state, I also find that I am very focused and driven to do what ever is in my power to facilitate my wife to engage in an erotic coupling with another man. This single-minded drive seems to shut down that part of my brain that makes good decisions or thinks about consequences. This has at times in the past, caused me to encourage my wife to do some things, or go to some places that could possibly have put her in danger. Thankfully nothing bad ever happened as a result of my lust fueled advice or encouragement. Afterwards I would often feel hugely guilty, yet strangely un-regretful. Psychologically, just like Yorks Cpl, I would feel embarrassed, humiliated, shamed and envious of my wife’s lovers. These feelings, though seemingly negative, served to stoke the fire of my lust, and if I could intensify those feelings, the fire would burn even hotter. I would use facts, questions, and my imagination to amplify those feelings of humiliation, shame and envy. The knowledge, speculation, or hope, that he had a big cock, or was a superior lover, further served to fan the flames of lust. I guess if I had to reduce all these feelings and reactions to two words, it would be “burning desire”.