Home discussion Lifestyle Discussions Getting Started 'Something new'

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This topic contains 25 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  taz 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #26624

    taz

    My wife has just told me that she wants find herself a boyfriend. It’s thrown my world into absolute turmoil and I need to talk to someone about it.

    Before we married and had kids my wife slept around – for a year she had four men on the go as regular lovers. I was one of them and totally, exclusively devoted to her. She chose to settle and marry me. Now that the kids are growing up she wants to “try something new again”. I don’t feel able to say no, but I am also horrified and in a panic.

  • #26625

    Gracie

    I can understand your initial feeling, but in truth, you knew before that she enjoyed sex with several others before marrying you, and that feeling in her has never abated. What you need to do now is accept reality. Convert your jealousy into arousal. When you start feeling jealous, do some channeling by thinking of how satisfying it will be for her and how arousing it will be for you to watch it.

    Gracie, Chick with a Dick and total cuck

  • #26629

    taz

    Thank you for your comment Gracie. Yes, I always feared that C might want to go back to having more than one lover. That was a big part of her before we married. I have always been tremendously grateful that she chose me and she has always been the dominant partner sexually – so putting her first is not the problem. But I’d forgotten entirely the stomach churning panic, dread, angst that comes with this territory. I am by nature jealous – I want her to be mine and mine alone. We are just starting the conversation and I have so many questions. How will we keep it from the kids? Does she want a long term bf or and occasional lover? Will I know him? Will we still make love?

  • #26630

    Gracie

    Wow that was a quick response!

    I do understand the strong feeling of jealousy. That is a natural reaction with many cucks. But keep in mind that jealousy is a very destructive force. It can become extremely damaging to a relationship if not kept under control. You MUST keep it under control and convert it to arousal.

    What you first need to do is sit down with your wife and discuss it. Let her know you do have feelings of jealousy but you will do your best to keep it entirely under control. Let her know that you fully understand that she needs much more than what one guy can give her, and that you “accept” that. Notice I said “accept” as it is not your place to “approve” but only to accept her decision

    Then talk to her about what she views as some ground rules. For example, is she going to have one lover or many? Personally, I do believe it is much better for YOU if she has many, as her “attachment” to lovers is spread over many and is not concentrated on just one guy. So, in that discussion, if I were you, I would encourage her to have many.

    As a part of that discussion, talk about what she wants your role to be. Will you be watching? If not, will you get reports after wards. Will you be allowed to fuck her after she has been fucked by others? Will you be allowed any pussy at all?

    So as clearly as possible, define both of your roles. Agree that the rules for the roles are flexible and subject to change upon further discussion as you each experience more.

    At the end of your response, you ask some important questions. How do you keep it from the kids, for example. You can make an effort to keep it from them, but my feeling is that it is better to be open about it with them. You can either wait to discuss it with them after then discover it, or talk aobut it before hand. You will be surprised at how understanding and accommodating most kids will be once they hear the full situation. For example, you can explain that their mom needs more personal attention then just you can give her, and so they will see some of her boyfriends coming over and spending the night.

    As far as a long term relationship with a boyfriend or just occasional flings, that really depends on what she needs. My take is that it is likely to be a mixture of the two, like one or two long term bfs and also some flings.

    Will it be strangers or guys you know? It is generally safer to go with guys you all know. But that could be harder for you to accept. That is something that needs to be discussed with her.

    Finally, you asked if you will get to fuck her. As I said already, have that discussion. My strong belief is that a submissive cuck should NOT be allowed any pussy. You had mentioned that she is the dominate sexual partner, making you the submissive. If she decides you should not get any pussy (it is her choice and not yours) then discuss the rules under which you can be provide relief. For example, will you be allowed to jack off at will, or only after she as been fucked or only while watching her or just what. In my own case, to set an example, I am allowed to cum ONLY when there is a black cock fucking my ass. That makes me more feminine and submissive, btw.

    Please let us all know how it goes.

    Gracie, feminized cuck, chick with a dick

  • #26632

    taz

    Gracie, I’m so grateful. You are so far ahead of me, but there are really useful pointers here. I definitely do not want to be replaced as a lover – that was not what happened before we were married, though that must be a possibility. I do understand that C needs/should have more than me, and in a way I need to signal that I know how lucky I have been to have had her to myself all these years. The idea that she should have multiple lovers to avoid he getting attached to one is blowing my mind. As is the possibility of telling the kids.

  • #26636

    Gracie

    You are welcome. I really do believe it is better to have multiple lovers. My wife has a great many and we both love that she does. If one gets too demanding of her to become exclusive to him or becomes uncomfortably possessive, and that does happen, it is easy for her to dump him as she has plenty of others to satisfy her.

    As far as kids, they are very adaptable It is surprising just how much they can adapt to this kind of situation. The key here, however, as you BOTH continue to stay together and interact with the kids as you normally would, and appear to be very happy with this lifestyle in front of them, showing them that you both are happy. It is when unhappiness is shown or or there appears to be a great deal of tension that there are problems with the kids. So you must avoid that at all cost.

    How do you tell the kids? It can be very simple. Adjust what you tell them according to their maturity level, however. A simple statement such as, “Hey kids. Mom is going to start having some boyfriends come over. I am perfectly okay with that.”

    If need be, you can expand that with statements that there may be nudity in the house at time, and emphasize that is normal and okay, or that you may be in panties or girly nighties at times to do role play, etc. Don’t go overboard with explaining at first. Let it sink in, then let them ask questions. But be HONEST with the answers. For example, if asked if that means mom is having sex with her boyfriends, be very honest about it.

    Gracie

  • #26681

    Gracie

    Taz, please provide an update or contact me.

    Gracie

  • #26689

    taz

    K and I got a chance to talk about a few things.

    In summary – it seems she is determined that she will take another lover at some point. She does not want the kids to know – she feels they are too young and too much invested in the traditions of monogamy, partners for life and the rest. She likes the idea of multiple partners, but is not sure that there are that many attractive and suitable men out there.

    Still overwhelmed by the possibility of this happening. Very anxious, worried where it will lead.

  • #26695

    Gracie

    Hey Taz, that is great that she is determined to take a lover, and is considering multiple lovers. She is concerned there aren’t enough suitable men, but I suspect she will find more than she anticipates.

    I know you are worried about where this will lead but just roll with it and adapt.

    Please keep me informed.

    Gracie

  • #26791

    nikkishusb

    Having some of the same issues and struggles as we head down the path. Nikki has only been with me, married 21 years. Considering a bf OR multiple lovers – either way something regular and not a one time thing. Two daughters at home and we’ve started talking about if/when/what they will know (basically do we consider hosting or not) and we’re talking about my role going forward. The big one weighing on me is over the condoms issue and what we do on that. I’m glad and encouraged to see others walk through the same concerns and talking about it on here has helped some for it to feel ‘normal’ and work through my anxieties.

  • #26803

    Gracie

    David, what you are feeling is certainly normal for a cuckold to go through when first starting out. To use condoms or not is always her choice, and depends on who her lover is, past history with him, whether or not there is a medical report giving him a clean bill of health, etc.

    The cuckold lifestyle is much more common than many people would suspect, especially if you include those who have been cucked but don’t know it. i’ve seen reports that up to 40 percent of wives cheat. I doubt it is that high, maybe 20 percent or so, but cuckolding is not uncommon.

    Should you consider hosting? Yes, absolutely. It makes living the lifestyle so much easier. Be all means, host.

    Gracie – Chick with a Dick

  • #26836

    taz

    Hello Gracie and DavidandNikki. Things are moving a little for C and I, but obviously I am way behind you guys.

    We were out to dinner and a concert last week. In a busy restaurant she asked me to pick out men that I thought would be suitable lovers for her.

    “Have you decided to take a lover?”

    “Yes. It’s a matter of when and who. When I do I want you involved. Surely, you’d want to help me choose.”

    We discussed what various men would be like. What kind of lovers they might be. Would they be funny, intelligent, shy, dominating? Would they let me watch?

    I was hard all the time and we had sex when we got home. After I came, C pushed me down to lick her clean. She came then.

    “I imagined you were cleaning me after a lover.”

    We kissed and cuddled for a while and then had sex again. We’d not done that in years – twice in a row. While we were making love the second time, C whispered to me about me meeting the men she chooses to check I’m happy, about how the pressure would be off me to ‘perform’ all the time, about how i should be flattered that other men desire my wife, about how exciting our sex life was going to be.

    It’s clear now that this is going to happen.

  • #26837

    Gracie

    Taz, thank you so much for the update. I have been wondering how it was going for you.

    When you were out for dinner and discussed the various men, did she settle on the type of man she would like to fuck?

    What are you going to do next? What is the plan for finding a guy like your wife likes?

    With her approval, if you come across a guy you believe she might like, you might want to show the guy some nude pics of your wife in order to capture his attention. BTW, if you don’t know the guy ahead of time, ALWAYS meet in a safe place first, but you and your wife, and the guy. Once your wife decides she likes him, then set some ground rules, such as you will always be present and you will do the clean up., etc. Whatever ground rules the two of you decide on.

    I strongly suggest you do this as quickly as possible, before she has a chance to have second thoughts.

    Gracie

  • #26842

    taz

    I don’t think there is a risk that C will have second thoughts. She is pushing me inexorably in the direction of her taking a lover. I want to slow things down.

    We did discuss men that she’d like to fuck n some detail. She wants a bigger, more physical man than me. She said she wanted a man with a bigger cock and more stamina than me. She is not concerned about the age – she had older lovers before we were married. She seems to want to spend some time with this man. She is very impatient with stupid or boring people – this man will have to keep up with her intellectually and have a sense of humour. One of the men she liked was black. One looked Arabic.

    We’ve not got into how I will make the arrangements. C clearly wants me to be involved and to consent.

  • #26843

    Gracie

    Taz, I can understand that YOU might want to slow things down, as it is making YOU nervous. But remember, this is about her and for her. You need to demonstrate to her how eager you are to help her. Do the things that are necessary to make this happen without slowing down.

    Always express to her how much you love her and how HAPPY you are that she is going in this direction. She wants to involve you, so don’t make her regret that decision. Express your love for her verbally and in any other way you can think of.

    My wife is black only and she requires that I be as well, so I have a natural preference for others to go black. If the man she saw that is black fits the bill for her, then go for it!

    Gracie

  • #26851

    Anonymous

    Do keep us updated. I’d like to see how this progresses.

  • #26882

    Gracie

    Agree, please keep us updated.

  • #26969

    taz

    Things are moving.
    I came too quickly when C and I were having sex on Saturday night. She’s not come. Usually she’d spread her legs and push my head down for me to lick and touch her, or turn over for me to tongue her arse as she masturbated – this always got her off beautifully. It’s pretty rare now that C comes with me fucking her. She’s OK with this normally, but wasn’t on Saturday. Not at all.

    We’d made love with me spooned up against her back. This is how we often have sex in the morning. I’d press my erection against C’s lovely behind and cuddle up to her. If she’s interested, she’ll press back and draw my hand to her breasts or down between her legs. Occasionally, she’s ready and waiting, and may just reach between her legs and press me into her. Sometimes, she just ignores me, and I’m left to calm down by myself. Once in a while she gives me permission to masturbate. One of the things we do that I love best is to be held by her, as I wank. This can go one of two ways. C can be loving, kissing me or stroking my chest and gently pinching my nipples as is stroke my penis. Alternatively, C will grab my balls in her fist and squeeze. Gently at first, then harder and harder as I come close to ejaculating. It becomes a battle of wills. How much pain can I take? How much do I want to ejaculate? Once or twice she has squeezed me so hard that the pain has overcome any desire to touch myself.

    Anyway, on Saturday I came too soon.

    “Don’t pull out, I want more.”

    I ground slowly into her, but this was not enough.

    “I want you hard again.”

    C reached between her legs to grab my balls. Firmly, but not causing pain, she controlled the rhythm of my fucking her. This worked for a minute or two. I got harder, but not fully erect. C touched herself, now eager to have an orgasm. My cock felt heavy and sore. I started to soften. We slowed down and stopped. My penis shrank and withdrew from C.

    “You’re a one shot man aren’t you?”

    Clearly this was a rhetorical question.

    “I want more. I want to be fucked properly. I need a man with stamina, who can go again and has a bigger cock.”

    As she said this she stroked herself to an orgasm, pulling on the nipples and, I assume, fantasising about being fucked by another man as her inadequate husband lay beside her.

  • #27222

    taz

    I bought C a beautiful bra and panty set for Valentine’s Day. (See attached image.) She tried it on and paraded around the bedroom as I lay in bed.

    “Do I look good?”

    “Breathtaking.”

    “Then wank for me.”

    She pulled the duvet back as I got hard instantly and started to stoke myself.

    She ran her fingers along her body, enjoying the feel of the lingerie. She turned around to show me her arse.

    “Enjoy the view. The next time these come out of the box, will be for my first date.”

    As I looked on in shock, wanking fast, she C climbed on the bed and lay beside me, pressing along my side. She stroked my chest, and then squeezed my balls gently.

    “Thank you, the underwear is perfect.”

    She kissed me deeply as I came across my belly, careful not to get any of my mess on C.

    As I calmed down, she fed me my sperm with her fingers.


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  • #27225

    Denied

    It is hard accepting the fact that your wife prefers sex with someone else and you have to be content with masturbation. It’s worse if she watches and you know she is comparing. It makes you feel less of a man and an inadequate husband.
    If there are children at home and they know or suspect you need to keep their respect as their dad and as a good male role model.
    Be supportive of their mum’s (maybe unusual) lifestyle buying lingerie is a great idea. If she’s going out comment on her appearance ‘Isn’t mum looking great. Have a fantastic time’. If your children are young and he is visiting ‘Mummy has to talk to her friend privately’. If they are older do an activity together as a’proper’ dad and if they’re still up when he leaves let them see you are happy that he is mum’s friend.
    They will understand and respect you.

  • #27230

    taz

    Hello Denied,

    Yes, it is hard… on the one hand, I cannot refuse her a lover because I am not satisfying her. Fighting to keep her from fucking another man is faintly ridiculous – I’m not going to fight anyone, or anything, least of all her need for a man who is more physical, had better stamina and a bigger cock. On the other hand, am I condemning myself to never fucking her, being useless to her as a lover, serving her only as a companion? Eventually this leads to me not needing my penis – masturbating will only be a distraction from works and serving her and the kids. Will she then want me castrated? (See the forum called Voluntary Castration.) C is definitely wanting me to get used to masturbating in front of her and eating my cum. No doubt she is comparing what I am to what she needs.

    I’ve realty not been thinking about the kids. It’s still all about her and I. Will they still treat me as the man of the house when I am not? How open will C want to be?

    I’m getting cuckold angst when she hasn’t yet cuckolded me. (As far as I know.)

    Oh God! Where is this leading?

  • #27231

    gary001

    @Taz. In my opinion, we have no right in denying our wives/ partners, a good sex life, whether that be with one boyfriend or many. Just because one is married, doesn’t automatically mean that our wife or partner has to be sexual with us. It’s her body and if she choses to enjoy another man coupling her then we as cuckold husbands are obligated to accept and support her decision.
    If our cock doesn’t satisfy her then she should find sexual relief elsewhere.
    A part of being a cuck husband is being denied sexually and the wonderful emotions that gives, Those feelings far outweighs the downside of never being able to fuck her again.
    I love our lifestyle and openly brag about it to our family and friends.

  • #27234

    taz

    Hello Gary,

    Yes, I am getting there. Clearly I am going to have to share her, and I do understand that I cannot deny my wife the pleasures of another lover. I accept that. She is autonomous, her needs are more important than mine because I cannot provide for them, because I am inadequate. I am also submissive to her in sexual. She is not really asking for my permission, C is taking me on a journey. As ever she is in control. I am fundamentally deeply grateful because it seems that C is not planning to leave me. She knows that I will get used to her taking a lover or lovers, that I will not cause a fuss, that in the end I will probably be very happy for her and make it as good an experience as I can.

    I absolutely love and desire my wife, so the idea that we are not sexual at all is deeply, overwhelmingly fighting for me. I accept that C might not want to fuck me when she is seeing a lover, but I will die if she denies me physical contact – kissing, cuddling, touching, holding hands, pressing our bodies together, my little turgid penis, gently pressed to her warm body wrapped in a nightdress. C might not want to fuck me, but that physical intimacy I cannot survive without. I’d rather be castrated.

    I do think I will eventually get to a time where I can speak openly to friends, family and even the kids about C and her lovers. I’d love to be that settled and confident. If C is happily ficking other men or women, but coming home to me… that is perfect.

  • #27235

    Denied

    I haven’t told our friends about our ‘arrangement’but she has told a friend and now I get that pitying look when she comes over. It’s not a good feeling but I have to accept that. Our daughter knows something is going on but she knows not to talk about it. I feel that’s very adult of her. It’s about empowering women and that’s a good thing for her to learn as she grows up. I’m still her dad and can show her that a man can do domestic stuff too.

  • #27315

    Jamesbynight

    I’m enjoying your journey Taz, any updates?

  • #27317

    taz

    C is impatient and she has a plan. In two months she goes to London for a conference related to work. She is a speaker at the conference, will be away for three nights and is organising it with a man called S.

    My wife has always been attracted to him. I’ve met him a few times. He came to C’s birthday dinner last year.

    He is known to have sex with men other than his wife. C says she wants him to be her first lover since we were married.

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