An enjoyable cuckolding environment is one where everyone involved receives the maximum benefit. For a cuckold couple with a steady bull or Dom, this means practicing cuckolding together.
In this article, I mainly address the wives who are already in a cuckolding relationship but do not yet include their husband directly as well as those wives who are curious or just starting to experience men outside your marriage with your husband’s encouragement.
In my view, cuckolding is most effective and enjoyable when practiced as a threesome. This means that for wives who are primarily having random hook-ups with different men or primarily meet their boyfriend away from the home are missing out on some of the best experiences in cuckolding.
Many couples new to the sharing lifestyle are initially very intimidated by the idea of a semi-steady relationship with a man outside the marriage. Emotionally it’s viewed as very risky, but honestly, if it’s that much of a risk, a couple shouldn’t even be thinking about doing this.
The reality is that a steady guy or a small stable of reliable companions for the wife is not only less risky in terms of physical and health safety, but is much more rewarding in terms of an experience. Don’t fear intimacy with your boyfriend – it’s healthy, within limits, and adds tremendously to the experience for everyone involved.
What if the boyfriend isn’t experienced with cuckold couples?
Many couples simply aren’t sure how to broach the topic of including the husband more directly. Most guys get skittish because they’re worried the husband wants inclusion sexually i.e. a threesome or some bi-sexual encounter and/or they are nervous about being watched. Simply knowing what their concerns are is half the battle.
Instead of meeting him out, have him pick you up so he can be introduced to your husband being present. He’ll see for himself that your cuckold has accepted a submissive role with regard to your dating simply by standing there wide-eyed and silent while you melt into your boyfriend’s arms for a long, sensuous kiss. You should, of course, give your husband a kiss goodbye before you leave and immediately reinforce with your boyfriend how sexy it was to kiss him in front of your husband.
During your dates, you should always make a point of discussing your husband and his reactions to your dating; detail how excited your husband gets watching you prepare for your date, for example, or explain how your shared fantasies have led you to this point. The more you discuss the details of this lifestyle with him, the more information he’ll have to work with mentally and be intrigued by.
Enjoying your boyfriend at home…
Next, invite him in for a few minutes before you leave on your date. Let him know beforehand this is what you want and let him know how much it turns you on to kiss him in front of your husband. He may not get it mentally just yet, but he can certainly identify with something that turns you on.
Another suggestion is to invite him for dinner at your place before you go out. This gives you an hour or more to openly discuss the lifestyle and extend the time the three of you are together.
Showering with your boyfriend at home creates an intimate bond that deepens everyone’s experience.
Again, be openly flirtatious and intimate with him with your husband present. It’s suggested you give your cuckold small tasks to perform while you entertain your man. This isn’t just to keep him busy, but to demonstrate that you are the one in control, for now, when your boyfriend is present. Have your cuckold get drinks or hang up your boyfriend’s jacket, for example. When he returns, he should find you on your boyfriend’s lap or snuggled up to him on the couch, your hands playfully stroking the bulge of your boyfriend’s cock.
You will have to be a bit aggressive with an inexperienced guy, even an otherwise dominant one, until he becomes comfortable with the situation and gets his head around it. I know this can be a challenge for many wives unfamiliar with being the aggressor, but simply think of it as a game and force yourself a bit until it becomes a bit more natural. Once your boyfriend matures into a boyfriend, or better still, a Dom, you will no longer be playing that role – except with your cuckold!
Think about calling your husband during your date and let your boyfriend listen as you tease your cuckold with a description of what’s going on.
- Perhaps you’re in a restaurant still, having dinner, and you tease your husband with the knowledge that your boyfriend’s hand is on your bare thigh, under your skirt, just a couple inches from where he can’t be tonight
- Call your husband from your boyfriend’s place – just imagine what you could tell him
One of your dates could be shopping. As much as men don’t enjoy shopping, they do when it’s for sexy outerwear and lingerie you try on for them while shopping. Yes, it would be humbling for your cuckold to be brought along, but also very erotic for him when he reflects on it and very empowering for your boyfriend. Imagine the stares, the giggles, the jealousy as other women watch you with two men – one obviously your husband and the one you’re most flirtatious with obviously not.
Eventually, picking you up at home and having dinner with you at home will lead to making out at home and going to bed without ever leaving the house. Dating is also still recommended, but sometimes you want to go out…and sometimes you just want to be fucked, don’t you?
At first your husband can watch the foreplay, the fondling, even as far as watching you fondle your lover’s cock through his pants or directly in your hands. You can direct him to help remove bits of clothing as your boyfriend wants more access to your body or simply let your cuckold watch as your boyfriend strips you of clothing.
You will have already told your boyfriend that your husband isn’t allowed in the bedroom when he’s there unless you call for him. Combined with previous demonstrations of his obedience to your directions when your boyfriend is present, your boyfriend will feel much less anxious taking you to bed with your husband still in the house.
At this point, you include your husband more by extending the foreplay you enjoy outside the bedroom; get naked for your boyfriend sooner, take foreplay well beyond petting all while your cuckold can be present.
Once this threshold is passed, your boyfriend will be quite comfortable in his position and will begin to enjoy asserting himself with you and your husband and may well be the one to call your husband into the bedroom to witness him entering you. This is particularly true if your boyfriend knows that your husband’s access to you sexually has been limited in preference to him.
My wife at first was horrified by the familiarity of dating a boyfriend as part of our marriage. She wanted the 1-and-done type of cuckolding. However, the more we’ve discussed it, the more it makes sense to her to get to know her lover and I’m a lot more comfortable knowing she’ll be with a man she knows and can actually get to like.
Contrary to her apprehensions, I don’t feel threatened by the possibility that she’ll enjoy spending time with and having sex with a regular boyfriend. If anything, I really enjoy the thought of her experiencing things with a regular boyfriend, even if those experiences are ones (like sex positions & kinks) we haven’t shared together.
Luvr, I am a cuckold new to the lifestyle. Mi wife and I are just beginning our marriage and our cuckold lifestyle. We’re still going out with different bulls, I am always present as my wife does not feel comfortable all by herself. Sometimes we do gang bangs and it’s a lot of fun. But your blog… Man, I wish we can manage to become like this some day. We’ll keep you posted. Best regards.
What will help your wife become comfortable on her own is getting to know her date. Rather than a string of relative strangers, she should use dating as its intended – to get to know a male she may want to be intimate with. Being married while dating simply means she has love and support whether a date works out or not. It’s her choice to be your wife that keeps her yours, not the emotional bond she might have with a boyfriend. Building that bond with him, with your support and participation is what builds your marital bond.
When I was a bit younger (but older than I should have been to enjoy this very honest lifestyle) I started seeing a married girl whom I will call Estelle. She was an intoxicating woman-not sylph like, model pin up material, but sensual, warm and sexy and deeply excited by physical sex. Estelle had once had a boyfriend, ages ago who was very dominant with her and she had never forgotten. Peter (I’ll call him that) her husband was gentle, and nice and collaborative about sex, so she wanted something different with me.
The first time I fucked Estelle was in the back of car and it was raw. She was noisy and demonstrative and I was shocked that it didn’t phase her that we were in a semi public place. She wanted to live more on the edge. Estelle assured me that Peter accepted the fact that we dated and that he would go out if I wished to visit for the evening. Fed up with the discomforts of even a BMW 7 series, I took up the offer and we fucked for several hours on the marital bed. She was so aroused that we wet the sheets, that I was leaving my mark in his place.
I share the story because its easy to assume that the bull just swaggers into these things. We don’t. People like me at any rate, find our feet gradually, but once the rules are established we take charge very firmly indeed. In Estelle and my case this involved a bit of negotiation. She was so eager to set things up. In the end I insisted on taking Peter for a drink and told him firmly that I was fucking his wife and would continue to do so because she needed the new element in her life. Peter was a nice guy and he accepted that quickly. There would come a time when he would explain why he needed to submit like that, but I wanted to establish visiting rights first. These things proceed in increments and I reckon you just have to listen, learn and have regard as you go.
Really its very informative…..Thanks!!
Luvr,
you words are very thoughtful and insightful. I have begun to incorporate your prose into my communications with Angie and her b/f Scott. It focuses our conversations. I hope this is not considered “stealing”. Angie, as the “Marital Garden” is one of your visions that resonate deeply in our cuckold marriage.
Thank you for creating this beautiful website.
J
Thanks, j; I encourage members of the community to leverage my thoughts and perspectives if it helps them embrace the lifestyle. All I ask is proper attribution (credit) if you re-publish my work in some fashion. If Angie already has a bf then you’ve come a long way together already. Congratulations.
Hi. I love all the thoughtful advice for those new to the cuckold lifestyle.
I hate to point this out, but there’s a very similar article that was posted almost a year after this one at http://incidentalhotwife.blogspot.com/2011/08/threeway-relationships-are-bestest.html?m=1
Thanks for pointing this out, vicie – and welcome to my site.
It’s not the first time someone has stolen my work as their own. The sad thing is I encourage other sites to feature my work to help grow this community, but all I ask is credit where credit is due. Thanks again.
Hi Luvr, some great tips.
Great article this is exactly the stage we are at in our relationship
good suggesting for Bull
congratulations on your site…Wife and I enjoy the lifestyle 😉
Rob, don’t be shy! I’d like to hear more about your lifestyle: how you got started and where it is today. Please post in the forum so everyone can benefit from your experience. http://b09.c06.myftpupload.com/index.php/forum/true-experiences/
Hi Luvr, the message was old but still applies. I am the husband but when she is on the site i will make sure she reads all of your information and exerience.