I always enjoy james’s thoughts…Anne ♠️🙂💕
It has been awhile since I have contributed a post here on CuckoldMarriage, but to be honest I will always defer that Anne’s voice is the most important voice to be heard in our dynamic. It has always been about her sharing our relationship as inspiration for women who might want to know as an alternative in a marriage the reality of having a loving non-monogamist sexual relationship. But just as importantly, also sending a message for those men that wish to be cuckolded to know and expect that their sexual self-serving fantasies take the “backseat”. And Anne does it so well…and the ride in the backseat is pretty damn good.
Since my last writing our dynamic has evolved and altered in ways that speak to who Anne is as a person and as a woman with complete control of her sexual self. Her expectations are simple and loving. And the effects on me are unexpectedly more intense and good reason to never leave the backseat…except when she literally needs it to determine if a new fuck is size worthy.
A common reoccurring question Anne will get here, or on Twitter, comes from men desiring to be cuckolded but apprehensive and asking “how does james manage the angst” of being cuckolded. Everyone is different but my response is simple. I embrace it…totally…because I learned long ago that the best sexual pleasure I have comes from my biggest sex organ…my brain. Some may think it an over simplification, but being a cuckold really is more about elevating your sexual pleasure by using your sensual mind…or better yet having it being used by another. So why try to “manage” it? Discover the thrill it can lead to in all it’s iterations. It is contrary to what sexual pleasure has been thought or should be for men…no question it’s easier keeping it a predictable physical response and not having to experience the conflict of emotions that cuckolding brings. But for the very reason you might be reading this post, it is not that uncommon for some men to know of themselves that the emotional charge of being on the uncontrollable edge of their wife’s non-monogamous sexual behavior is addiction. Put me in that group.
The angst of emotions while she is in bed with another black man (or men) is a masochistic euphoria that has replaced better any orgasm my in-chaste penis may have. Should Anne decide to “tease and please”, while that moment is physically very intense, she knows it’s unfairly quick and unsatisfying in lasting beyond that moment. It is a reminder that my sexual code of pleasure has to be about Anne’s, about the hours of waiting during her sex trysts and my imagination crazy with visions of her experiencing insatiable pleasure involving all manners of sex acts. And after, her deftly knowing what and how to share her fuckings to stir further my imagination and inflame my desire to be cuckolded more. It is certain I will always take the angst over the spurt.
So what has changed? Well, before that, what has not changed?…
…her empowerment, control, and denial.
As you should know, I am not allowed sexual intercourse, with her or any other woman…ever. I am certain that some men are reading this and unimaginably saying “what the fuck?” It certainly is not a “requirement” of being cuckolded but it is an easier vision than you think. Our sexual relationship has always been about all manners of intimacy weaved through our love and trust for each other. But over time through different sexual experiences and discovery it wasn’t intercourse on the top of the list that really charged our sexual dynamic. Yes, there were orgasms, but they had diverged differently, Anne needing better and me only getting her hand. We had arrived at a point in our cuckolding where we agreed intercourse between us is not the most important part of our sexual relationship. It is the emotional sensory stimulation and arousal of the differences we need from each other that makes it better…Anne’s empowerment being non-monogamous and the intensity of her control and denial of me. This, and her overt sensuality and statuesque sexiness, is what makes Anne irresistibly the “one” for me, forever. So why would I ever want to be with another women? Our relationship has never been about subtracting from it but always adding better to it.
Denial does mean I am very rarely allowed or invited to be present while Anne is fucking, though when she is, being in chaste is the required dress code…as it is most other times. When the cage is off I am strictly not allowed to masturbate, difficult when she teases me to an erection and leaves it at that.
Anne does receive on occasion questions from other men wanting to know about the inclusion of chastity in our dynamic, mostly directed to me and how do I emotionally adjust to the control and denial imposed by it, or more to the point, by Anne. As I have written before, for us my denial is an important part of making cuckolding true. It is the center of my cuckold identity and wearing a cage makes me feel complete, maybe even empowered, while being denied. For some, that chastity requires physical restraint to evoke the emotions of denial, it is emasculating. It’s right for our cuckolding dynamic, but also know that it’s not for everyone. While in-chaste I find it to be a liberating cocktail of emotions that can vary across the spectrum from an aroused angst when Anne is being fucked to a cerebral calm while the two of us are just enjoying a real cocktail and talking about the day…lately another “cocktail” added to the menu was her introducing me to a cage orgasm with her wand…holy shit. How long being in-chaste varies and 24/7 is not as important as how Anne demands it to blend the control and denial seamlessly into our relationship and marriage…while also reminding me with a smile that I look very sexy wearing one.
Probably the most comments from men that seem to get mixed into Anne’s posts and Twitter are about humiliation. Our perspective is it can be another emotional stimulus used in a dynamic where the personalities equal the wanted result, but it is not how we have ever seen our behavior and we have never been about scripted scenes. Anne does not have a mean spirit in her body and for her to try to overcome that and stage humiliation, well, personally I would have to find a way not to start laughing and she wouldn’t be far behind. What does happen occasionally, in a very honest tone she may say or do something that some may think is humiliation but really was just her being sincere to our relationship. If you have read and listened to the audios of her post “Why would I stop cuckolding james?”, you know this. There is this preconception that cuckolds should only be humiliated and viewed as inferior and sissies. I am neither and never one to be about presumptions. Anne may be cuckolding me, but she has always placed me as her number “one” and the strongest man she knows. Cuckolding is a loving relationship…period.
Anne has now taken our dynamic where she embraces openly as a black only slut. Instead of finding the one, she now has many. In itself this is not unexpected. She has always said that being non-monogamous was about her finding men that gave her what she needs better in bed and then after flaunt what better means to her cuckolded husband. For all the reasons she has written here on CuckoldMarriage and talked about in podcasts where she has been invited as a guest speaker, black men do it for her. The reality of her embracing being a black only slut openly in front of me truly is her unfiltered empowerment telling me we can never go back. When I see how energized and happy she is after her fucking trysts and she begins telling me delightfully about it, there is no doubt this is, as she says, “who she is”. And I love it. With my mind set off, my caged penis cannot help but try to be something more.
Recently Anne and I had a conversation about “ownership”, specifically about my penis being “hers”. She felt it was the next sincere step of denial that truthfully had been happening for awhile. And how could I disagree since I really couldn’t do anything with it without her permission. The twist though was Anne openly sharing the news with others that she had ownership…starting first in the cuckolding community. The “outing” was unexpected however I admit it was very arousing to hear Anne brazenly chat with other women about making it hers. Teasingly she has hinted that with ownership my angst may now be for different reasons. It is her penis, and when I need to, I only get to pee with it.
Know that the journey of our sexual dynamic has always involved honest and open conversations. We can openly talk about anything and the real result no matter the topic is a stronger love and trust between us. Where we are right now we have a clarity in our marriage and cuckold dynamic. Our different needs are seamless as one, and for me, the sensations become more electric as my sexuality is defined by her control, denial, and now, her ownership. My pleasure happens as Anne wants with her “little dick”, with a teasing way and loving smile, but also making it clear that she is never going back.