‘Denial’ is the  overt application of decisions which limit or redefine a husband’s sexual privileges with his wife.

The practice of the various forms of denial can lead to increased physical and emotional intimacy for cuckold couples as well as a heightened experience for other males involved with the couple. They key isn’t just to limit the cuckold’s ability to have intercourse with his wife, but to channel that need into other forms of intimacy.


In a general sense, couples want sex for for three reasons:

  • sexual release
  • physical and emotional intimacy
  • procreation

Release & Intimacy

For couples whose husband lacks the requisite stamina or cock to effectively satisfy his wife, intercourse is really only effective for sexual release and most often only for the husband. In such marriages, the majority of the intimacy comes during pillow talk or foreplay since the duration of intercourse is likely short, leaving the emotional intimacy not well satisfied either. When intercourse is no longer the default option to pursue enjoyment of these core experiences for couples, other avenues can open, avenues which aren’t limited in the same fashion as intercourse and therefore likely to be enjoyed for longer periods and provide greater intimacy and even pleasure.

Example: Many wives, though they desire intimacy with their husband, may shy away from arousing him because they know it’s likely to lead to him pursuing sex with her, which she knows, will only lead to her frustration. When a form of denial is in place, the wife no longer has that perspective because the sexual options for her husband are defined, freeing her to verbally and/or physically arouse him simply to enjoy the moment of intimacy. In this manner, the ‘frustration’ shifts from the wife to the husband, but you’ll hardly ever find a cuckold who doesn’t eagerly agree to enduring this type of frustration in order to enjoy increased intimacy with his wife.

Even among cuckold couples where intercourse is mutually satisfying, forms of denial can help make good sex great sex when structure is provided around when and how such couplings can take place. When a couple offers this authority to their Dom, it not only relieves the wife of the guilt that can come with her husband’s denial, but increase the bond between the couple and their Dom or boyfriend.


For couples who have already had children and don’t plan on having more, it can be said that the husband’s penis has fulfilled it’s only necessary role if intercourse isn’t mutually enjoyable. His denial then, so that his wife may pursue more enjoyable intercourse separates the roles of mate and lover.

Denial Misconceptions

  1. denial equates to being cut off completely from intercourse
  2. denial requires enforced chastity
  3. denial is only for cuckolds incapable of sexually pleasing their wife

Why deny?

Denial creates opportunities for expressing and enjoying intimacy in other ways which ultimately allow for longer periods of intimacy and a deeper intensity to that intimacy both physically and emotionally.

  • Especially effective in situations where a wife has started dating someone on a regular basis, denial can be effective as a means of asserting or emphasizing the cuckold’s submission by restricting the sexual access to his wife that being her husband should impart.
  • Another reason a husband can find himself denied is to help him experience the frustration that his wife has experienced, often for many years, by being sexually unsatisfied. For husbands who are mouse-hung, lack the requisite stamina to get their wife to that sexual plateau or both, it’s appropriate that they discover for themselves how it feels to be aroused yet seldom satisfied through intercourse.
  • It is also erotic, as a Dom, to have this level of control within a marriage; to be able to dictate what forms of sexual intimacy a husband may indulge in and at what intervals, is very empowering. To be balls deep inside the cuckolds wife, in front of him, while being personally responsible for his denial of intercourse is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Attrition vs. Denial

It’s not uncommon for a husband to find himself either effectively sidelined by his wife once she becomes an active hotwife  or for the husband to feel reluctant to seek sex  being aware that what they bring to the table (bed, actually) isn’t what she needs. This is more a form of attrition than denial. In order to take full advantage of the emotional and physical benefits of denial, it needs to be made official even if it’s already in practice in an unspoken manner.

Methods For Managing Denial

Cut off by default.

There are multiple methods to use but they mainly fall into one of the categories below:

  • Permissive: the cuckold is required to obtain permission from her lover
  • Quotas: the cuckold is only allowed sex x times per Y; once he uses up his allotment, he remains chaste
  • Ratios: for ever X times she couples with her lover, the cuckold is allowed Y
  • Schedules: the cuckold has the opportunity (not guarantee) for sex on particular days of the week or certain holidays and anniversaries
  • Prerequisites: the wife may commit herself to only allowing cocks of a certain size inside her or may allow only black cock inside her, for example

These rules can be used individually or mixed to create the rule set most appropriate for a given couples needs. Such methods remove the wife’s responsibility for her husband’s denial, freeing her to enjoy and encourage other forms of intimacy with her cuckold while knowing precisely what his limits are.

Intimacy Options


Without the ‘distraction’ of intercourse, many options open for couples what otherwise would be missed. Most cuckolds’ wives are already familiar with their cuckold’s tongue – often their default sexual organ once it’s become apparent their penis is deficient. This tongue can now be leveraged at will by the wife without concern that he’ll want to then poke her with his inadequate penis. Even if she would likely enjoy said poking, denying it is a tangible extension of the roles of hotwife and cuckold. By denying the husband something custom says he’s due, you exercise his submission.


Teasing & Denial is often used together for good reason: purposely exciting the cuckold then provides palpable opportunity to deny him. This is seen as cruel by some who have yet to experience it, but again, this is a method of exercising the dominant and submissive roles inherent in cuckold relationships. I teach wives to learn to enjoy their cuckold’s dangly bits as toys, available to be fondled, teased and left wanting as desired. Cuckold’s will eagerly submit their organs to this treatment as it provides purpose for their genitals and pleasure, despite the frustration that comes with it.

Documenting her date preparations.

Teasing is something that can  become part of the fabric of your cuckolding experience. Teasing can be physical, but it is also verbal. When you simply discuss the lifestyle or an impending date with a lover, intimacy is being experienced both physically and emotionally. When a cuckold helps you bathe and dress for a date, your discussions all fall under the ‘tease’ category. Given the time it takes for you to get ready, it’s safe to say this intimacy lasts far longer than intercourse with your cuckold ever did, right?

Getting Started

Often the simplest and most easily understood form of denial for an active cuckold couple is restricting the husband’s sexual access prior to a planned date or evening out where the wife might make a new friend. Some wives who fall under the ‘unsatisfied’ category, but aren’t yet active hotwives, find themselves establishing a form of denial by requiring their husband make good use of his tongue to bring her to bliss before they have their feeble ‘4 minutes of glory’.

Denial can also be implemented as part of a ‘reward’ system for modifying a cuckold’s behavior; until he meets some specific obligation, he is denied the intimacy he most desires.

For couples actively involved with a lover, denial has significantly more value and meaning. Husbands will seldom actively invite their denial, but will respond to it with arousal when proposed or established. What form denial should take for a cuckold and his wife is very unique to their situation and needs. Most wives involved in a relationship with a lover take comfort in having him play a role in establishing her husband’s denial. This is a natural extension of the dynamics of cuckolding.


Cut Off

Being cut off can be temporary, semi-permanent or even permanent in some cases.

  • Being cut off temporarily can mean for a set period of time: a month, a year, or until some prerequisite is met
  • Being cut off semi-permanently can apply when the husband is denied for the duration of  his wife’s relationship with her lover
  • For couples where the husband’s inability to please his wife, sex is more aptly described as masturbation using her body. In such cases, being cut off semi-permanently or permanently may be the natural choice for a hotwife actively dating.
  • For wives who have made an interracial commitment, the decision to be black only may, by definition, retire her cuckold’s penis from intercourse

For couples practicing these forms of denial, it is even more important that the intimacy replacement mechanisms become part of the fabric of the marriage and lifestyle.

Next: Creating An Enjoyable Cuckolding Environment

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