Cuckolding Is Natural

The science is out there to show us how cuckolding, as a lifestyle,  is actually a much more a natural style of relationship than what we have been told is best for us.

Starting in The Biology of Cuckolding, I relate my belief that many, if not most couples can benefit from including another male in the role of lover to make their marriage complete. Below is an article I found recently with more academic findings:

Like many bird species, humans form pair bonds and males invest a lot in offspring. But, again as with many bird species, it has recently been recognized that there are a lot of extrapair matings in these supposedly monogamous relationships, at least some of which are initiated by females. One reason—procurement of additional investment—was discussed above. There are two other plausible reasons for a female to seek extrapair matings. If long-term investment is not likely to be forthcoming, a woman might still benefit from a short-term mating if she can gain immediate resources.

via Human Mate Choice – Optimal Outbreeding, Fluctuating Asymmetry, What Women Want: Resources and Investment – Women, Female, Males, Male, Competition, and People.

There are several fascinating points in this article including:

Males in a number of species respond to the threat of female infidelity by guarding their mate to keep her from mating with other males. A woman always knows that her child is her own, but a man can never be as certain. Men, therefore, value chastity and sexual fidelity in a mate more than women do.

Human males guard their female in this way because it’s what’s expected. Males are raised to believe each of them is an alpha by birth and has the exclusive right to ‘his’ female, but that very assumption is where things go wrong for us. Most of us would prefer to follow than to lead – otherwise we’d be all chiefs and no indians. When a wife recognizes another male for his superior qualities or ability to pleasure her – and therefore increase odds of a successful mating, she is ‘promoting’ him to the alpha within the marriage.

When a couple recognizes that the static arrangement of one male for one female isn’t working out for them sexually, at least, the response is to question themselves, but in reality they should question the societal norms they have been force fed.

Females in our society begin their dating lives attracted to the most sexually appealing males – those who outwardly appear to be alphas. Unfortunately, while the sex might be great, the other areas of interaction with these males often proves lacking and after several failed relationships with what would be considered alpha males, women begin to look at different qualities to establish their relationship and will most often settle down with a man less their ideal of desirability, but much more fitting to be a partner and a father to children.

This doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy sex with their husband, but it still lacks the thrill, the feeling of being compelled to ‘adore’ her lover and give herself fully to him sexually. This memory, for those women who have it, never goes away.

In this way, women compromise and try to have a balance of what they need, but inevitably, something is lacking. Our society says this is how it has to be, but our genes say something else. In our less ‘civilized’, pre-religion origins, we lived in small groups where a female could find both roles in her ‘family’ group. The alpha who would mate her and the betas who defended and supported the family.

Proper cuckoldry is simply a return to relationships including both roles: husband and lover, thereby making the marriage devoid of the compromise between a male to be the best partner and a male to be the best lover.