A Three-part Harmony

It is equally selfish for a wife to never allow her cuckold to watch as it would be for a cuckold to demand to always watch.

For a husband to bear direct witness to his wife’s intercourse with a lover, all three must have a compatible perspective on the event and also possess an emotional handle on themselves. This article assumes the husband’s desire to bear witness to his wife’s coupling since 99% of husbands generally desire to be included this way to one degree or another and I fully believe it is the right of every cuckold husband to at least sometimes be present, in the room, to bear witness to his wife’s body yielding to the cock of her lover. Having said that, the manner and timing of his presence can be varied substantially, something I will address later in this article.

The Hotwife

It’s not uncommon for the wife to be very reluctant to allow the husband to watch feeling anxiety over being watched during such an intimate event. Besides being self-conscious, this anxiety is often due to subconscious guilt because she knows she is going to enjoy this experience more than she’s let her husband know and/or because she knows that she responds and performs for her lover in ways she does not for her husband and feels the need to protect him from seeing that. Such protection is not what cuckolds need – they instead need to be fully aware and included; not knowing detail hurts far worse as not knowing is what leads to doubt and fear.

The Boyfriend

I am mostly addressing bulls here because an experienced Dom is going to not only accept the cuckold’s presence, but enjoy it and leverage it as part of the experience. The boyfriend (bull) is most often uncomfortable having the husband around simply because he fears the husband reacting poorly to the his role in the marriage.  To a cuckold this may seem silly, but a jealous husband out of control can be dangerous. Some bulls may worry there’s some bi or homosexual interest in the husband which is typically not the case.  Some bulls are just selfish and don’t really care about the husband or his role as a cuckold; these bulls are to be avoided as they are not the best fit for a proper cuckolding environment.

A Process For Most

As with most aspects of the cuckolding lifestyle, bearing witness to the hotwife’s coupling with her bull or Dom is easiest for everyone when it comes through progressive steps. Some wives are eager to have their husband present from the start because it either helps them feel secure or because they’ve already begun to appreciate the D/s dynamic of having him watch her being taken by another male. In these cases, the holdout is often the lover and before the cuckold can even be considered to be present during lovemaking, the lover must first become comfortable with the husband simply be present.

Such familiarity is best done through spending time together as an extended couple. By this, I mean that the wife and her lover are the couple with her husband in attendance. This can be done in public as dates and in private by having the lover over for dinner, watching movies together or other day-time events. It’s important that the wife take the lead in establishing and exercising intimacy with her lover while her husband is present. She needs to be confident in touching, kissing and cuddling up to her lover to reinforce that it is acceptable behavior and to demonstrate that the husband only responds positively to such displays of intimacy between his wife and her lover. Once the lover is comfortable initiating such intimacy on his own, or better yet, enjoys exploring such play, working toward coupling in front of the cuckold comes much easier.

Demonstrating Intimacy

Once basic forms of intimacy are easily and openly enjoyed between wife and lover with the husband present, begin to explore deeper forms of intimacy with the husband present or nearby. I recommend using extended foreplay as a vehicle to introduce open physical intimacy with the husband present or nearby.

Example Progression

  1. Dinner while dating: The cuckold tags along on the date, but the wife should clearly give her attention to her lover. Again, the pair should return to his place after the date while her cuckold returns home to wait for her.
  2. Dinner before dating: A first step toward introducing the husband to the mix. Have the lover come for dinner before he takes her out for the evening. If they’ve been going to his place after dates, that would still work at this stage.
  3. Evening at home: Kids, at this point, would be out of the home for this evening. (Introducing her boyfriend to the family (kids) is a more involved process discussed at this link.)The wife would dress very invitingly – wearing something openly suggestive of her intimacy with her lover. This alone sets the proper tone for the lover indicating that their intimacy is open and overt.Choose a movie for the couple to watch together after dinner. The cuckold should see to cleaning up after dinner and allow the couple to settle in together. Again, the wife should initiate cuddling and petting to set the example for her lover that such intimacy is perfectly acceptable in the home. The cuckold must continue to manage his own feeling of arousal and conflict during this time to prevent undoing the progress achieved to that point.The first time a couple does this, the cuckold should likely find ‘something else to do’ much of the time and only join the couple for a few minutes at a time – long enough to enjoy the sight of his wife and her lover cuddled together and long enough for the lover to appreciate that it’s all perfectly acceptable and welcome.The cuckold should leave them to their foreplay and ensure the bedroom is ready for them and then politely notify them that the bedroom has been made ready should be want some privacy.  This is a humbling, but important task for the husband – it makes him directly responsible for encouraging the intimacy.

    The wife and her boyfriend may play out this scenario several times, coupling in private each time, before progressing to more open foreplay where the husband is likely to see it. During the movie/cuddling phase, nudity can become the norm and the cuckold may witness his wife getting her boyfriend’s cock wet with her mouth before taking him to bed, once again to mount him in private. Soon such acts will feel very comfortable and at some point, the bedroom door can be left open as an invitation for the husband to quietly follow and witness what they will allow until he is dismissed.

  4. Spending The Night: Having followed the previous steps, it’s now relatively simple and comfortable for everyone involved when the boyfriend spends the night in the marital bed. Each couple can work out specifics with regard to when and for how long the cuckold joins them in the bedroom.



Each couple will have variations of this process in terms of what intimacies are enjoyed and shared in view of the husband and how many times it takes to progress to the next level, but having a plan and working toward the end goal is the important point.


Ultimately, when a couple works toward this goal together, the cuckold can become both witness and partner in attaining his hotwife’s full measure of pleasure.

Visual Flirtation