Part I

Phase I of outing a cuckold is typically making it open with a bull/boyfriend.

Part II

Phase II of outing a cuckold is to invite others in on the game.

PART III – The Outsiders

Outsiders are those not part of your inner circle who may have been invited to know in phase II. Outsiders can be complete strangers you only have a passing encounter with, new acquaintances met while out socializing, at an event, or while on vacation, or those you recognize and are recognized by but without any knowledge of identity or relational details like those who work in places you frequent.


Couples most often think of others outside of anyone invited in during phase II knowing of or having a perspective on the cuckolding aspect of their marriage as nothing more than something to be avoided, but this  is based on the false assumption that other have any real clue what’s going on. Let’s face it, most people barely notice their own hair on fire, let alone what others are doing – and why.

The reality of the risk is it’s something the couple – and their bull – can easily manage based on the time, the place, and the audience by choosing carefully what’s said and what behaviors are exhibited. In the end, outsiders only make assumptions and actually only know what they’re told by the couple and/or the bull. Even then, outsiders often suspect a joke is being played and don’t take it seriously. Of course this provides a segue to benefits.


Outsiders are pawns – disposable catalysts invited to take part, often unknowingly, in a cuckold expressing his submissive role to his wife, his wife expressing her submissive role to her boyfriend, and the boyfriend expressing his authority with both. Sometimes these expressions are very subtle and sometimes they can be very obvious and this is how a couple, or their boyfriend decide how much ‘catalyst’ to add to the formula.


When dating publicly, many options are available to tailor the amount of ‘catalyst’ desired from the outsiders. This can include how she dresses, how she behaves, how the husband behaves, and how the three interact with each other and with others.

When seen by outsiders some will be naturally curious about who we are to each other since it will be clear the three of us are all together. Depending on the venue and the outsider – and perhaps my interest in drawing out their curiosity, I will make introductions accordingly.

For the  couples I’ve owned – a situation where their commitment to both cuckolding and a submissive role has been formalized – I teach them in such social situations to wait for me to indicate how we’re to be introduced.

If I choose to keep things discreet, I will simply introduce each of us myself, by name. If I want a bit of fun, I’ll nod to her. She then knows to introduce herself by name, her cuckold as “…my husband,” and his first name,  and then me by name as “…my boyfriend”.

If I nod to him, you can imagine that will be the most humbling option where he’s expected to introduce himself and his wife to indicate they are a couple, then introduce me as their Owner. It’s used less, but quite interesting when used.

Clearly a couple, but otherwise, behavior is subtle. Things can become much less subtle with simple changes in behavior.

Intimacy apparent as is her desire to put the lifestyle first.

In this dating scenario, things are pretty simple and casual, but when the boyfriend is the one holding her hand while he refers to the cuckold as her husband, a good bit of catalyst becomes added.

As stated earlier, servers or other guests might take this as a joke if they don’t really know any of you. This presents an opportunity to dangle more of that thread out there to see if they’ll pull on it. The boyfriend can openly ask little questions like, “How long have you been married now?” And, he can decide who should answer the question by directing the question to one or the other.

Outsiders exposed to this situation typically fall into two groups: those who choose to ignore what they’re thinking, not being sure how to react or what to say, and those who are fascinated to one degree or another and are curious to find out more. How much more they are exposed to is always up to the couple and their bull.

A conversation piece like a key suspended on a necklace can provide an excellent conversation piece and again, can be flexible in terms of how much is shared with an outsider.

In a more casual crowd? Is the outsider a bit shy? Then this key is simply symbolic of being “the key to her husband’s heart” and reminds her that he loves her enough to let her make the (sexual) choices in their marriage. The wife could choose to include or omit the reference to sexual as she feels is appropriate.

Depending on the dynamic, it may be the boyfriend who answers a question about the key dangling so openly between her breasts. He might explain it as above or he could simply explain it’s a gift from him to them – hinting at a chastity device for someone he may think would get the reference. Or, he could say that hoping it inspires further questions and an opportunity to explain in more detail what the key goes to.

In the same way a chastity key can be worn to invite or stimulate conversation, other bits of accessories can have the same effect. Collars have long been used in the D/s community as a badge of honor to indicate a bi-directional commitment between the Dominant and the submissive. To make that statement within a marriage when the one who has collared the wife is not her husband, and for her to wear that publicly, offers many opportunities for including outsiders, but even if it doesn’t it’s still a beautiful reflection of the lifestyle and the commitments made by each.

Even a simple choker can express so much for the couple and their bull when worn in public. These days, even actual collars, leather and adorned with an attachment point, are a fashionable accessory which can be explained a such – or explained more precisely depending on the outsider and their response to other bits of detail or observation of behavior.

Sometimes I don’t mind/care if we’re not taken seriously, but sometimes it’s an opportunity to cross the line from conversation and observation to allowing an outsider to participate. I have not only fondled a man’s wife in front of him and an outsider or group of them, but have invited individuals to cup her breast in hand or tease a nipple, for example, as evidence that I have the control I claim to have. Fondling often starts with the breasts because they are often what draws men to notice her and enables me to engage them about their interest but often doesn’t stop there.

Such activities are best done in semi-private places where actions are screened from wider observation but even in public venues like restaurants and clubs this can be achieved with creative body placement and seating choices. Using a cuckold to block the view while someone else feels the weight of his wife’s breast in his hand is always a bonus.

Showing off training to outsiders is also very rewarding. In this case, it’s an example of how I’ve trained a girl to respond should I rub anything over her lips; she’s to open them and try to take it in her mouth. If she gets in her mouth, she should suckle whatever it is. The shock of such an overtly sexual and submissive act done openly is truly epic when her cuckold is present.

The ways to explore and enjoy the use of outsiders as a catalyst in this experience are limited only by imagination and training. I encourage all couples to consider how to make use of outing with outsiders as another form of shared intimacy experienced through cuckolding.