Outing the cuckold refers to letting someone else in on the incredibly amazing idea that he loves you enough to share you. Stop looking at it like a choice you have to defend and think of it more as something you get to brag about.  Seriously; how many women get to brag about being loved and supported while having a sexual adventure with another male?!

Taking the step to out a cuckold is a very formative part of a cuckold’s experience. It is one where he demonstrates his commitment to her pleasure, her needs, outweighs the burden of his ego and societal norms. Likewise, being another man’s girlfriend, being overtly provocative, is the woman’s burden in overcoming societal norms against women actually enjoying being women. In this way, outing the cuckold is also outing herself.

a proper cuckold couple portrait

Outing first begins by helping a man invited into the marriage for a sexual role understand more deeply and openly why he’s been invited.

Starting Out

I always encourage wives to be very open about their marital status. If a bull believes she’s cheating then:

  1. he may expect a one-night stand and while that’s ok at times for an active hotwife, it’s not the way to establish a reliable bull with the potential to be promoted to boyfriend
  2. he may be the type that is only interested in married women if they are cheating (stupid, but it happens)
  3. it avoids the impression that the wife is looking for a replacement to her husband even though sexually that may be the outcome, the bull won’t understand the difference at this point

Q: Do I tell him right off, wait for him to ask me, or something else?
A: Usually when flirtation turns to something else and personal details begin to become shared, relationship status tends to come up. Should he ask about marital status, I encourage a light-hearted, but slightly ambiguous response like, “He’s the married one…” or “Yes, very married, but very available nonetheless…” and let him choose for himself to ask more about such leading questions or not.

This becomes the very first opportunity to out your cuckold to the man already invited into the marriage…or about to be. When a wife verbally confirms her husband is very much aware of where she is at the moment, who she’s with, and what they’re doing (a date), a whole new dynamic is created through the possibilities of the bull’s interest in the mechanisms of cuckolding even if he’s unaware of the term/practice.

It should utterly fascinate a bull to be told that his date’s husband is not only aware of her dating, but is supportive and helpful, even. He may not really get it, but it should still be fascinating. If it’s not, not the end of the world, bulls are still useful for their cock, but if he is, then true potential for a boyfriend and perhaps even an aspiring Dom might be present.

Feed that aspiration.

It might not be true that the husband hasn’t been allowed sex since dating this bull began, but he can be told that to arouse him and give him the sense of contrast and taboo that is at the core of this experience. Should the bull respond strongly to such a statement then you have some motivation to further deny the cuckold in pursuit of building a catalyst with the bull.

Next Steps: Public Date

The next escalation for outing the cuckold is done publicly, but expressed privately. That is, the venue is public, but only the three of you understand the roles and dynamics at work.

First Scenario: Setting The Stage

Arrange to meet your bull somewhere public – a venue with a bit of privacy like booths or the option to blend into a crowd are helpful but it can also be somewhere as simple as Starbucks.

Be early. Be there before he arrives so when he arrives he can experience watching his date leave her husband’s side to embrace him and kiss him as is appropriate for a date. This establishes for a fact that the husband has known about things without a word being said because a wife is obviously not going to intimately embrace and kiss with a man in front of her husband otherwise.

Yes, others who saw you arrive as a couple and then greet another male this way may wonder, but that’s the point, isn’t it? Leverage the strangers as pawns in this play.

When you sit down, sit with the bull, not where you had previously been sitting. Now you two are the couple. It would be a good time to send the cuckold on a mission – order something or pre-plan that at this point, the cuckold excuses himself for a moment.

The bull should be quite impressed with your behavior and appearance and it should empower him to the same degree this experience has empowered the wife. It’s a good time for her to ask him whether he enjoyed kissing her in front of her husband. This helps him realize these small things make a big mental and emotional difference and are open for discussion.

After the cuckold’s return, some small talk could be had about the rest of the date to out the cuckold’s support of his wife dating but again to train the bull that speaking of it so plainly is not just acceptable, but desired. At this point the cuckold can be dismissed to go home or the couple can then depart on their date. This leaves those who noticed this interaction either confused, shocked by their assumptions, and/or inspired to make their own fantasies come true.

When alone as a dating couple, the wife should take some time to openly reflect on how much she enjoyed introducing her husband and being with her date at the same time. These actions teach the bull that the cuckold’s involvement is a positive for the wife and offer opportunities for his own enjoyment as well because of the power dynamic. This will leave him far more confident and curious to explore what the limits are the next time the cuckold is directly involved.

Second Scenario: Building on Success

The next date to including outing the cuckold can now include the cuckold for a longer period. The date could still have a private aspect to it, but after a dinner enjoyed as a two plus one.

Every small intimacy, kindness, and flirtation granted the date with the cuckold as witness builds a bond between the couple dating, the wife and her cuckold, and even between the cuckolder and the cuckolded.

Consider wearing something layered for this date – something which beautifully displays the breasts but have that feature mostly hidden by a jacket, a wrap, something the cuckold can be directed to help take off by his cuckoldress. A long coat over a dress or blouse/skirt can also be effective in making a noticeable impression this way. Yes, she could take it off herself, but hopefully the symbolism of having her cuckold effectively present her publicly to her date isn’t missed by the readers or the bull.

simple, casual; still utterly an invitation offered

Yes, she is also outing herself as a sexual being – a woman empowered by expressing her sexuality – a slut some would say – but that’s who she needs to be for her date and most especially for her cuckold.

The label slut has been around since the 1400s and has been used to shame any woman who is promiscuous. There is no standard for what that means nor is it intended to apply to males. The only reasonable reaction to this in 2019 is that it can be applied to any woman for being sexually empowered and exercising her biological right of sexual selection. Women capable of causing men to respond involuntarily should therefore always be sluts and be proud of it.

During a two +1 date it’s good to talk about how a couple got to this point of changing their relationship this way. Other small talk may not come as easily and it provides the means to make it acceptable to verbally express exciting elements of the interaction.

When a wife asks her husband, while seated with another male, “Honey, can you guess what I’m holding right now?” when one hand is clearly not visible is easily spoken in public but loaded with meaning for everyone involved. And yes, she should actually be doing it and not care if she is seen doing it. In fact, that would make it even better, wouldn’t it? Engaging in such teasing behavior makes it clear to the date how this works and demonstrates that it’s not only acceptable to talk about what’s happening – it’s encouraged.

Scenario Three: Making Him Welcome

it’s not like he hasn’t already seen everything…

Starting the date at home. In this scenario, we plan for the boyfriend, most likely the correct term for him at this point, to come to the home to pick up his date for the evening. The cuckold will welcome him in and inform her of his arrival. It’s best if she has remained not fully dressed so she can rush out to greet him still only in her panties, for example. The intent here isn’t the display of her body to him, but the implication of intimacy and openness with her behaving as she would around her husband. Once she has been held in his arms and kissed, she can return to her preparations, summoning her cuckold to come help. This also communicates important ideas about the cuckold’s involvement and enjoyment in helping her prepare for her dates. Even though a bull/bf might not personally understand why this is rewarding for the cuckold, he’ll appreciate the fact that he’s doing it and adds one more layer of catalyst.

At this stage of the play I might encourage a wife to present herself to her date after finishing her dressing and getting his approval and even offering to change if he doesn’t like it.

Before leaving together, the wife could pause…think to herself in front of her men, and share aloud, “I think I’ll just put these in my purse for now,” and slip off her panties right there. Next time that could be something she directs her cuckold to help with.

Last, before departing, she needs to give her cuckold some attention. She should speak to him in an almost maternal tone, lightly pet his erection, and remind him he’s to wait until she’s home before touching himself. All said aloud.

Scenario 3.x: Iteration of Involvement

Take the lessons and the progression from scenario and draw it out. Invite the boyfriend over for longer periods so being together as a two +1 becomes commonplace. At some point, it will no longer be necessary for the cuckoldress to initiate touch and interaction – the boyfriend will know it IS his place to initiate that and will have discovered by then then thrill of behaving intimately with another man’s girl right in front of him.

Foreplay can then be enjoyed openly with intimacy had in private at first (if that’s easier). Then, the couple can agree to leave the door to the bedroom open when the cuckold is invited to look in from outside. Finally, they will ask him in to bring water, for example. Couples who have been through this process with a bull before will progress faster and perhaps skip stages, but this gradual inclusion is best when either male is new to this and especially when both are.

Additional Details


The timing between each of these scenarios as well as the number of times each might be experienced before moving to the next is something a couple would work out together or at the direction of someone more experienced.


Each couple, each two +1 will need to consider their own variations of detail and timing to suit their own situations.


I suggest communicating to the cuckold while on a date without him at at least these points:

  • when arriving at the venue (public venue or boyfriend’s place)
  • during the date in a public venue
    • consider collaborating with your date in terms of what to tease the cuckold with
  • during the date in private if it extends beyond what the cuckold would expect
    • like during that cuddling between the first and second round of coupling you didn’t expect would happen
  • when on the way home to him

A cuckold should never text or call his wife while she’s on a date unless its an emergency. He may reply to texts, but should not ask questions – he should instead be supportive. If the couple decide to ask him some questions, like if he’s hard, wanting to touch himself, those would be appropriate things to answer honestly.

how the investment of initial outing pays off

Part II

In part II I will address how to out a cuckold to others in your inner circle.