As we all know a male’s genitals are not only what physically identifies him as a male, but more importantly, they serve as the physical manifestation of their mental, social and emotional self-identity. The penis is central to a husband’s self-centric perspective where if it’s erect, he can have expectations of sex. The husband’s testicles represent his role as the wife’s mate. The image above illustrates the use of these testicles bound in a device called a Humbler; what you do with him helpless in this state is up to you, but simply having him held helpless by the very symbols of his masculinity defines the role changes that come with wanting and and accepting a cuckold’s role.
Too often we allow the stereotype of the cuckold (small penis, sexually inadequate) to explain or justify the cuckold marriage lifestyle when what it’s more often about is the expression of dominant and submissive roles. For some cuckolds the stereotype holds true, but for the majority of husbands active as or desiring to be her cuckold, such classic inadequacies may not be at the heart of the desire. It’s true that some well-hung males may lack sufficient stamina to make that larger organ useful, but I’ve known many cuckolds who were perfectly capable of pleasuring their wife to a level she was content with. This isn’t to say there’s not a lot of room for improvement, but from her perspective, it’s not broken, so why fix it. The reason it needs to be fixed is because the husband is living a lie as the alpha male in the marriage and desperately wants to live the beta role and know he’s responsible for his wife’s increased pleasure and the fulfillment of being in the role he was meant for.
Once you wrap your head around the misconception of size as the dominant prerequisite of cuckolding, you can start to appreciate why husbands with an average or even well above average sized penis and sufficient stamina still respond so well to having that large penis denied in favor of the cock of her boyfriend. In fact, one might even say that demoting and denying a larger penis is even more mentally and emotionally intense given the husband’s likely experience being viewed as ‘a stud’ based mostly on his size and experiences with other women.
Submission is about trust and for both men and women, that submission isn’t usually possible without serious trust. Often, for married couples, the only person they can trust to fully submit in this way, is their spouse. A male who has been expected to fulfill an alpha male role his entire life and has, to this point, been successful at it, isn’t necessarily an alpha male but simply standing in until one comes along who is recognized by the wife as such.
What is true of every cuckold is the submissive role inherent in being a cuckold. Our culture does not allow for a husband to be permissive, let alone supportive of his wife inviting other men inside her. So to accept and welcome such behavior is to be humbled, or humiliated, as a man. This same dynamic is true for all other aspect of ‘humiliation’; it’s not the desire to be humiliated that causes a cuckold’s penis to become swollen, but rather the submission that has to take place for a man to accept such humiliation and how that expression allows him to live in the role he and his wife now prefer for him.
Cuckold denial is often confused with being cut-off, a state where intercourse is no longer permitted between cuckold and wife. Denial is a practice where intercourse is restricted, controlled. In practice, denial can run a full range of exerting very little influence over the cuckold’s access to intercourse or it can be practiced much like being cut off with only a small or very infrequent chance of being invited inside his wife.
The decision to deny a cuckold is often assumed to be based on some real or perceived inadequacy, but in truth, it can and should be enjoyed purely as an expression of the husband’s submission. The decision to deny a well-hung male in preference of others or simply in preference of enjoying his denial is even more rewarding emotionally for the couple.
- My first post on the topic of Cuckold Denial (opens in a new window).
Being that the genitals are key to a male’s sense of confidence and male-identity, they provide physical, mental and emotional means of expression of dominant and submissive roles. Even when a wife isn’t yet an active hotwife, the act of diminishing the stature of her husband’s manhood through forms of denial can provide many of the same emotional and physical experiences of cuckolding. Cuckolding your husband simply makes an active program of planned and practiced denial 5x as intense.
One of the simplest methods of demoting the cuckold penis is to panty the husband. We all ‘get’ how feminine panties are and how counter to the male ego they are – this is also what makes them a perfect opportunity to demote the status of a male’s penis by forbidding the wearing of masculine underwear and have his penis covered only in feminine panties.
This practice shouldn’t be confused with other fetishes like cross-dressing or more involved practices like feminizing a male as a route to deeper submission, but enjoyed and practiced as a simply method to diminish the status of the cuckold penis.
Putting the husband in panties also includes requiring him to shave and maintain a look more in line with a prepubescent boy which only serves to draw more contrast between the cuckold and the wife’s boyfriend/Dom.
I require couples to explore new ways of enjoying a cuckold’s genitals when they have been demoted or retired fully (cut-off). This isn’t just an option, but rather a necessity as the couple still need to enjoy physical and emotional intimacy and the cuckold still needs (and deserves) physical release – just not on his terms. When a cuckold’s penis is no longer considered (or allowed) as a symbol of manhood, but rather as a symbol of his submission, they can take on new used and be used in other ways pleasurable to the hotwife, her cuckold and even their Dom should they have one.
Every time your cuckold’s penis becomes swollen, appreciate it as the physical expression of his approval that it is.
Teasing, including physical, visible and verbal options, can take on epic proportions once his penis has been demoted to being less a sex organ and more a toy for amusement and his release when allowed. Wives often purposely avoided simple teasing likely to result in arousal because that penis, while still regarded as a symbol of being an alpha male, led husbands to believe that they should expect sex anytime they were aroused even though their wife may have simply wanted to be playful. now, with the same penis demoted, it’s clear between them that running her fingers along the shaft long enough to stiffen it, or wearing something provocative at home or whispering suggestive things to the cuckold are now expressions of intimacy and dominant/submissive roles rather than invitations to intercourse. As such, these experiences can now be enjoyed much more frequently.
I encourage and coach couples into expanding the use of ‘teasing’ behaviors as part of their intimacy. It doesn’t take a lot of time or effort once you work it into your daily lives. A simple squeeze while passing by or a whisper of “I miss my boyfriend inside me..” while eating dinner at the in-laws, is sure to keep your boy a bit swollen and experiencing the new reality that being erect no longer entitles him to anything but learning to manage his excited state and appreciating his hotwife for her behavior.
Edging is taking the tease to a artistic level. Edging serves as both an expression of D/s and an expression of CBT by prolonging the cuckold’s teasing experiencing. In ‘edging’, the cuckold is slowly and purposely brought to the brink of orgasm, then either allowed to relax through the cessation of sensation or as is more recommended, forcibly backed down through the use of ice or sometimes a bit of pressure on the balls to soften him more quickly. Then the hotwife can once again take full control of her cuckold’s penis and take him to that edge yet again.
Edging is not only a wonderful expression of dominant/submissive roles, but provides much longer periods of intimacy for a couple than intercourse likely ever lasted. Edging can also be considered a light form of CBT (cock and ball torment) due to the aching and discomfort a cuckold must eventually experience and endure as part of his prolonged teasing. Edging also teaches couples how to communicate much more effectively about the cuckold’s state of arousal and teaches the hotwife much more about the behavior of her newly demoted toy penis.
Outercourse is the practice of genital contact without penetration. Outercourse is another expression of D/s role as well as an expression of teasing and denial that works well on its own or as part of an edging session.
- a previous post on outercourse (opens in new window)
The entire point of this now lengthy article was to provide context for one of the most intense and enjoyable expressions of a cuckold’s submission when retired or re-purposed sexually: CBT. The purposeful and careful discipline of what were once the cornerstone of his male pride is extremely empowering for women, but also induces deep submission in the males upon which is it practiced.
In it’s simplest form, CBT can take the form of teasing and denial, which dovetails into the practice of enforced chastity as part of denial.
Where teasing and/or denying the cuckold could be seen more as a passive method of actively diminishing the status of his male organs, CBT could be seen as a much more proactive method of reinforcing that the cuckold’s penis, testicles and even his anus serve more effectively as objects of amusement than as the sex organs of a lover.
Wives are often very reluctant to consider direct forms of discipline for his penis and testicles like chastity, bondage or the application of harnesses, collars and even electrical toys. It’s natural to be concerned about his health and, in many cases, to feel guilty about enjoying such play, but allowing their genitals to be purposely tormented is a much deeper expression of submission than simple denial. When combined, the two practices form a complete ‘circle’ of role expression.
Getting Started With CBT
Do /do not rules for beginners.
feel free to:
- slap the penis
- pinch the skin of the penis and the scrotum
- firmly grasp the testicles
- gently tug the testicles
- flick the testicles with fingers
- tie up the penis
- tie up the testicles
- torment/tease with the application of fingernails
- fit with harnesses and collars
- forcibly bend the erect penis
- hit the testicles with the hand or an implement while against a firm surface
- allow bound genitals to become dark purple
- insert anything into the urethra that isn’t properly sterilized