For many cuckolds, the role of his penis within the marriage forever changes once she begins dating.

Intimacy vs Intercourse

outercourse: auxiliary intimacy (click to animate)

Couples naturally but incorrectly assume that to have physical intimacy, they would have to be having intercourse when the fact is that for many, if not most cuckold couples, intercourse is likely one of the least effective methods for enjoying and sharing in physical intimacy. For cuckolds who lacked stamina before they became cuckolds, that situation is not going to improve any once she has taken a lover. Her cuckold will be unable to look at her lips without thinking of her kissing him, he will be unable to look at her breasts without seeing them cupped in her lover’s hands and most of all, he won’t be able to be inside her without thinking first of their coupling. This, of course, is going to have dire consequences even for husbands who previously had good stamina, let alone those who di not. Let’s face it –  a few minutes of huff and puff and a unilateral orgasm is not intimacy –  it’s masturbation using her body.

Do cuckold couples need to experience physical and emotional intimacy? Absolutely – we just want that done in ways that will be effective and yet not come between the sexual relationship between wife and lover.

Effective methods for sharing in physical and emotional intimacy without intercourse:
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Transition To Toy

A cuckold's genitals as toys are much more fun than simply ignored.

When a cuckold’s penis is simply ineffective at bringing his wife to orgasm during intercourse, or a decision has been made, with respect to his role as a submissive, and access to intercourse is greatly restricted or fully denied, a cuckold’s penis shouldn’t be ignored, but rather the opposite. The cuckold’s penis should then be employed differently in the expression of sexual intimacy, release and most importantly,  control.

Unrestricted, a cuckold will masturbate and therefore spurt much more often than before his cuckolding due to the intensely erotic nature of being a cuckold,  but it shouldn’t be his task alone to masturbate that penis. Once it’s been established that the cuckold can no longer expect or ask for intercourse, the wife is then free  –  and expected – to pet, stroke, squeeze and tickle his genitals into arousal at whim without the fear of being expected to allow him his release while only frustrating her. This is where the role of the penis as an instrument of release and control comes in and I highly encourage all hotwives to thoroughly enjoy their new ‘toy’.

The Hotwife Prerogative

Treating his penis as a toy greatly increases the contrast in roles between cuckold and lover.

Better a toy than ignored.

Do not feel guilty about how the cuckold penis twitches and leaks while you attend to it and never feel guilty about the desire to prevent him from achieving release – that’s what a cuckold penis is for. It’s through this sacrifice that your cuckold demonstrates both love and commitment to his hotwife and how a hotwife demonstrates love and physical affection with her cuckold. Your cuckold will gladly suffer any frustration you ask of him rather than to not be able to experience that closeness with you.

  • Proactively teasing / tormenting / denying your husband’s cuckold penis is the opposite side of the coin to coupling with / sucking / satisfying  your lover’s cock. Each amplifies the experience of the other.
  • Each time your cuckold is erect for you, it is a gift of both submission and support for you whether he became erect on his own or was teased to that state by something you did or said.
  • Purposely bringing your cuckold to erection simply to enjoy the ability to do so is perfectly within the expected and accepted behavior for a hotwife.
  • Your cuckold would greatly prefer the frustration of this interaction in order to enjoy the intimacy of it than to have his obsolete genitals be ignored by you.

Practical Application

The simplest expression of leveraging the cuckold penis for physical intimacy is simple manual and verbal teasing. With practice, this can and should be done almost anywhere, including in public. This is especially meaningful for the wives who have endured a number of years of sexual frustration before dating and becoming complete as both a wife and a woman. For these women, it’s entirely appropriate that their cuckold get to experience frequent arousal without satisfaction.


Using a Fleshlight to edge her cuckold.

A more advanced form of teasing is referred to as “edging” and is something I encourage all cuckold couples to practice. I encourage this not only as a form of intimacy and physical/verbal communication, but also to become much better acquainted with the tolerances associated with your cuckold’s penis and testicles for both pleasure and discipline.

The general scenario is one where your husband is slowly and repeatedly brought to the very ‘edge’ of ejaculation before being backed down, forced to relax, often to the point of being limp, before being aroused to that very ‘edge’ once again. Done repeatedly, this practice will also cause a definitely testicular ache and in some men eventually prevent them from becoming erect due to the ache. When practiced regularly, the wife can learn to predict the level of her cuckold’s arousal with much more precision and understand from how he breathes, how his penis twitches and how his hips involuntarily flex causing him to hump nothing but air just how much stimulation he can withstand be fore spurting. Part of practicing this is the requirement that the cuckold learn how to resist spurting by communicating as effectively as possible regarding his proximity to orgasm.

Ruined Orgasm

It will take practice – your cuckold is likely to be easily excited and until he learns to accurately report his level of excitement and you learn to accurately assess it based on the twitching/leaking and swelling behavior of his penis, accidents are likely to happen. When it becomes obvious that the cuckold is about to orgasm, release his penis to prevent any stimulation as the orgasm hits. This produces what’s often referred to as a ‘ruined orgasm’ where the pleasure of an orgasm is often reduced to a more ‘mechanical ‘ ejaculation than an orgasm.


As you improve your skills together, you’ll want to back him down from his orgasm as quickly as possible rather than simply allowing him to relax naturally. Some wives will use ice packs while others will use his testicles. A firm squeeze of them, or some finger flicking against one of his testicles can be very effective in deflating his penis. A note of caution: a bit of ‘abuse’ to the testicles can abruptly cause orgasm in some males rather than prevent it.

The use of a harness or the practice of tying his balls with light rope, boot laces, or even panyhose can present them better and leave them more sensitive to stimulation.

Taking your time to stimulate your cuckold under controlled circumstances can provide hours of intimacy rather than just a few minutes.

Once he’s soft, you can stroke the testicles you just punished to start the climb of his penis back to vertical. When starting out, you may not be able to get past just a few cycles of this before having an accident, but as you practice, you’ll find you’re able to repeat this cycle several times until either he has an accident or the “blue balls” ache becomes significant enough to prevent him from getting erect again.

Whether he is allows to spurt before that point arrives or whether you tease/deny him to the point of having his penis disabled is up to you  – or up to your Dom, if you have one.

As a Dom, I base the decision on whether I am rewarding the cuckold with this experience, or punishing him. If I am rewarding him, then I will ensure he gets to spurt well ahead of his penis becoming disabled, but if I am punishing him, I will ensure his penis is fully disabled – and then give him the chance to mount his wife and fuck her – if he can.

Yeah, that’s not going to work very well, so he’ll get to watch me fuck her instead while his penis hangs limp and his testicles ache considerably.

This is the role of a cuckold’s penis and also leads us to the next topic and use for a cuckold’s genitals…

Advanced Cock /  Ball Torment

I realize that we don’t refer to a cuckold’s appendage, regardless of size, as a cock, but the acronym CBT doesn’t understand that dynamic. The acronym actually uses “torture” for the T, but I find that both extreme and inaccurate in that torture, to me, tends to imply injury, something never, ever desired when expressing sexual roles.

The use of a Humbler immobilizes your cuckold and presents the very symbol of his manhood for your teasing or discipline.

While most wives are reluctant to actively torment their husband’s dangling bits, most also fail to realize that as hotwives they do so on a regular basis without even trying. Taking a more direct approach in making alternative uses of a cuckold’s genitals in the pursuit of shared intimacy is directly or indirectly ‘punishing’ a cuckold’s genitals. This is a very intimate experience and an overt expression of Dominance and submission since a male’s first instinct is to protect his genitals not offer them for punishment. Little is more effective at allowing a male to express his submission than having him present his genitals for various forms of discipline. It’s also creates additional contrast between cuckold and lover roles as one gets his genitals pleasured while the other has them tormented.

CBT need not be extreme: as stated above, simply edging or teasing your cuckold is a mild form of CBT. CBT, like other aspects of cuckolding, tends to be a progressive experience where the couple gets more involved and knowledgable over time.

Next Steps

Discovering that emotional and physical intimacy isn’t dependent on intercourse is a true game changer for every cuckold couple. If you’re  a cuckold couple and not practicing any of these aspects of cuckolding, I highly encourage discussion and exploration – you’ll be pleased with the results.