If you have read my last post, Emotions, Fit, and The Unexpected…A Hotwife’s Perspective and the comments after it, you have seen my response to the question about if I find the right LTR bull, to fully enjoy him would I invite him to live with me and james. My answer was brief and very positive to the arrangement. But when questioned by james I had to think what does that quick answer really imply about me and my desire for a relationship beyond the occasional dates? Since that comment (has it been over three months?!) my conversations with james have been open and honest trying to answer questions and helping him know, as my cuckold husband, a live-in bull can be a good thing for both of us. Sometimes answering a question has posed other questions with answers that will have to wait until having that long term bull relationship. As I have said before, a cuckold marriage should be about joyful discovery and growing stronger.
As all of us Hotwifes know, finding the right bull is key and for me it also includes an emotional connection, contrary to some who feel it should only be about sex. If I find the ‘one’ I’m confident that the LTR relationship will develop and along with it sincere trust and a respect for the family that james and I have built together over the past 30 years. We are not looking to add a financial or emotional burden to our home but someone who can enhance it. But with this relationship with ‘the one’ will all intimate moments with james and me eventually disappear? No, james is my “number one” and my intimate time with him, much different than what I need with my bull, is important and needed as well.
What do I really want? To be blunt, I need full pleasure daily with no feelings of guilt brought on by the fear that james is feeling left out. He has to make an effort, together with me, to welcome my bull into our home. When and if we get to this point james should already have a full comfort level with my bull as a lover. Any angst he might feel must be under control and if he has it he can’t let me know about it.
As important, for the bull to be the ‘one’ his physical presence must blend with other attributes. He must be able to converse with me on a variety of subjects, emotionally and intellectually challenging me. To physically pleasure and fully satisfy me I need his emotional sharing as close as physically needing to feel his breath and heartbeat while his cock is in me. I don’t need someone to masturbate on…but someone to share all with.
And rather than blending the relationship of three as defined rolls (Dom and sub james) I definitely like the idea of an easily interactive relationship with me being the center. The bull and the cuckold should have a friendly acceptance and openness to each other, allowing me that freedom to be intimate without hesitation with my bull, and on occasion with james, and each of them feeling a part of it.
True to me, my empowerment is important and I want to always feel empowered not only over james but that possibility also with my bull. With that said, I want to be able to deny both if I need space. My alpha bull will have to be emotionally mature enough to handle an occasional ‘not tonight’…denial which james is already quite used to. When I’m with my bull in the bedroom I will follow his lead and allow him to fully pleasure me, though I would like to have the chance to be the alpha in the bedroom on occasion. It might be telling him exactly what to do to me, or also having an opportunity to tie him up, blindfold him and tease him to pleasure. Perhaps in this scenario, while the bull is blindfolded, james will be required to clean up his ejaculate and after will be quietly excused. All of this will be filmed of course, for the bull and me to view later as we desire, intimately together.
So how do I explain this relationship and include family and close friends? Honestly, before it to happen, my bull/lover will have to be already fully integrated into our cuckold marriage and worthy by how he enhances it, making it the natural next step to live with us. Having this happened, our children are young adults and not living at home so bringing the bull into our house is less complicated and allows us to ease into introducing him in conversation and introduction to them. The same would also be true with our closest friends. Would this be accepted by them and others beyond and will james and I continue to be recognized as the husband and wife that everyone knows us as? I tend to think optimistically that it would be if I am unashamed in assuring it is not an affair and that our marriage has never been better for it.
And is it too much a fantasy and unrealistic? Keeping an open mind, I don’t necessarily think so if the right person comes along. A relationship of this nature will take time to develop into this stage, but more importantly, I feel (as james knows and supports) that I have the capacity to enjoy having another man in my house with us.
….and will it make my marriage with james even stronger and better? If anything that the genuine effect of being a Hotwife and cuckold has shown us, is yes it will also in a long term relationship of three. It starts with me being empowered and communicating with james, assuring the love and trust still remains between us. And with that, it is also essential for there to always be open and true dialogue between me, my bull and james. Ultimately there has to be an ever growing trust and delight for any sort of live-in relationship to work and be joyful.
….and not to be so deliberate as to not enjoy the journey of discovery for ‘the one’ 🙂